Então é isso, "amigos" do Facebook, tchau pra vocês. Acho que não tem mais nada pra gente compartilhar. Eu até que tenho tentado curtir as suas coisas, mas ficou claro para mim que a gente simplesmente não tem nada em comum. Eu não gosto das suas páginas, você não apóia as minhas causas, eu nunca participei dos seus eventos, e nunca jamais fui marcado em uma foto com você. Deve ser coisa minha: enquanto a maioria de vocês tem centenas de pessoas pra se conectar, eu me esforço para manter em um seleto grupo de dois dígitos.
Mas de verdade, quem são essas 91 pessoas? Então, uns dezoito são família e por família quero dizer da minha mãe ao meu primo de terceiro grau. E você podia até pensar que eu não largaria esse canal pra não cortar uma linha de comunicação, certo? Errado: quanto menos você vê a sua família mais você gosta deles, porque quando vocês se reúnem você percebe como vocês não tem nada em comum. Quer dizer, é bom saber quando eles casam, têm filhos, mas eu prefiro ouvir isso da minha avó, pra acabar tirando dela alguma fofoca. Além disso, aqueles que realmente se importam falam comigo por telefone, Skype, pessoalmente ou em sonhos. Sim, até mesmo os parentes mortos me contactam mais do que alguns familiares do Facebook.
Mas tem também o grupo dos "colegas". Um monte de gente que ia para a escola com você ou gente com quem você trabalhou, mas não aqueles que se tornaram amigos: eu tô falando dos que te "adicionaram" e você ficou constrangido de ignorar. Ou bem eles tão te usando para fazer volume, ou então ... não, eles tão te usando mesmo. E já que agora eu estou saindo daqui, posso dizer: se em dois anos na universidade você nunca me escolheu pro seu grupo de estudo, porque agora eu deveria deixar você ver as minhas fotos da lua de mel? E não não vem ao caso o fato que eu não deveria publicar um momento tão íntimo na internet.
O terceiro tipo de pessoas que eu estou tentando eliminar da minha vida digital, eu nomeei "amigos dos amigos", o tipo mais complicado de relacionamento. Basicamente você não os conhece, mas eles conhecem o seu pai, ou o seu melhor amigo, aí que você os adiciona em consideração aos seus queridos e acaba se arrependendo pra sempre de ter de partilhar os seus pensamentos com esse povo que te convida pra jogar Farmville e posta vídeos do Evanescence. Na maioria das vezes eles te adicionam porque a sua mãe sugeriu, e novamente, eles acham que é legal ter 687 contatos em suas listas.
Por último, mas não menos irritante: o tipinho enganador. Essa é a pessoa que você ficou tão feliz de encontrar online e depois sacou que ele não dá a mínima para você. Ele aceitou a sua amizade e acabou: ele não comenta o seu status, ele não curte os seus links ou álbuns, e não é capaz nem de escrever "Happy B-day" no seu mural. Essas pessoas não vão sequer chegar a saber que estou falando deles, porque eles não vão ler a minha nota! Então que se f*!
Para aqueles dez que sobraram: vocês sabem o meu endereço, tem o meu telefone, meu contato no Skype e meu e-mail. Talvez a gente não se fale o tempo todo, mas eu sei que a nossa amizade tá lá, porque há três meses atrás a gente trocou uns 5 e-mails em uma semana, e às vezes isso é suficiente para um ano inteiro. E eu amo você e/ou admiro você e/ou acho você do caralho e/ou a gente tem os mesmos pais, de forma que nós poderíamos passar o resto de nossas vidas separados, eu vou sempre compartilhar as minhas fotos íntimas com você.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
So long, farewell!
That’s it Facebook “friends”, I’m leaving. I guess I don’t have anything else to share with you. I kind of have been trying to like your stuff, but really, it’s clear to me now that we just have nothing in common. I don’t like your pages, you don’t support my causes, I never attended any of your events, and we were never ever tagged in a picture together. It’s probably my thing: while most of you have hundreds of people to connect with, I have always made an effort to keep YOU in a select, two-digit group.
But let’s be honest, who are these 91 individuals? Well, eighteen of them are family, and by family I mean from my mom to my 3rd cousin. And you might think I wouldn’t leave this great channel otherwise I could cut a line of communication. You are wrong: less you see your family more you like them, coz when you guys get together you realize how you have nothing in common. I mean, I am happy when they get married and have kids, but I would rather hear that through my grandma so I also will end up hearing some gossip. Besides, those who care really talk to me, by phone, Skype, personally or in dreams. Yes, even dead relatives contact me more then some Facebook family.
There is also the “colleagues” group. A bunch of people who went to school with you or you worked together, but not the ones you became friends with: I’m talking about those who “add” you and you were embarrassed to ignore. Either they are using you to make volume in their accounts, or maybe…no, they are using you. So now that I’m leaving I can say: if in two years at the university you never choose me for your studies group, why should I now let you to see my honeymoon pictures? And it doesn’t matter I shouldn’t publish such an intimate moment on the internet.
The third kind of people I’m trying to eliminate of my digital life I nominated “friends of friends”, the most awkward type for a relationship. Basically you don’t know them, but they know your dad, or your best friend; so you add them in consideration to your beloveds, and then regret forever having to share your thoughts with people who invite you daily to Farmville and post Evanescence videos. Most of the time they friend you coz your mom suggested, and again, they think it’s cool to have 687 contacts on their list.
Last, but not least annoying sort of online person: the deluder. That is the person you got so happy to find online and then learned he doesn’t give a shit about you. He accepted your friendship and that was it: he doesn’t comment on your status, he doesn’t like your links or albums; he’s not even capable to write “Happy B-day” on your wall. These people are not gonna ever even get to know I’m talking about them, coz they won’t click on my note! So f* you! You are never gonna see it anyway.
To that 10 left: you know my address, you have my phone and Skype contact, you have my e-mail. Maybe we don’t talk all the time, but I know our friendship is still there coz 3 months ago we exchanged 5 e-mails in one week, and sometimes that is enough for a whole year. And I love you and/or admire you and/or think you’re fucking awesome and/or share the same parents with you so we could spend the rest of our lives apart, I would always share my intimate pics with you.
But let’s be honest, who are these 91 individuals? Well, eighteen of them are family, and by family I mean from my mom to my 3rd cousin. And you might think I wouldn’t leave this great channel otherwise I could cut a line of communication. You are wrong: less you see your family more you like them, coz when you guys get together you realize how you have nothing in common. I mean, I am happy when they get married and have kids, but I would rather hear that through my grandma so I also will end up hearing some gossip. Besides, those who care really talk to me, by phone, Skype, personally or in dreams. Yes, even dead relatives contact me more then some Facebook family.
There is also the “colleagues” group. A bunch of people who went to school with you or you worked together, but not the ones you became friends with: I’m talking about those who “add” you and you were embarrassed to ignore. Either they are using you to make volume in their accounts, or maybe…no, they are using you. So now that I’m leaving I can say: if in two years at the university you never choose me for your studies group, why should I now let you to see my honeymoon pictures? And it doesn’t matter I shouldn’t publish such an intimate moment on the internet.
The third kind of people I’m trying to eliminate of my digital life I nominated “friends of friends”, the most awkward type for a relationship. Basically you don’t know them, but they know your dad, or your best friend; so you add them in consideration to your beloveds, and then regret forever having to share your thoughts with people who invite you daily to Farmville and post Evanescence videos. Most of the time they friend you coz your mom suggested, and again, they think it’s cool to have 687 contacts on their list.
Last, but not least annoying sort of online person: the deluder. That is the person you got so happy to find online and then learned he doesn’t give a shit about you. He accepted your friendship and that was it: he doesn’t comment on your status, he doesn’t like your links or albums; he’s not even capable to write “Happy B-day” on your wall. These people are not gonna ever even get to know I’m talking about them, coz they won’t click on my note! So f* you! You are never gonna see it anyway.
To that 10 left: you know my address, you have my phone and Skype contact, you have my e-mail. Maybe we don’t talk all the time, but I know our friendship is still there coz 3 months ago we exchanged 5 e-mails in one week, and sometimes that is enough for a whole year. And I love you and/or admire you and/or think you’re fucking awesome and/or share the same parents with you so we could spend the rest of our lives apart, I would always share my intimate pics with you.
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